I feel like an idiot.

Sometimes if you just tell the whole world that, you'll feel better. So. There. I feel like an idiot. Like this weekend when I had to open presents in front of a whole group of people at Josephson's. I felt so stupid. Why is it the most uncomfortable thing in the world? So. I just told everyone, in the middle of opening gifts, that I felt "so stupid opening gifts in front of everyone". Did it make me feel any better? Not really. Well, maybe a little... But at least I wasn't sitting there feeling all awkward and dumb and keeping it all to myself.

Our friendly little neighborhood Phone Lady owes me money. She made long distance calls on my phone. And she's LONG gone. Now, it wasn't very much. The bill. About 10 bucks to be exact. But I wouldn't take this chick out for a 10 dollar dinner! So. I'm mad.

The "Gun Guy" was next door, today, and I ran over to see if the Phone Lady left any good junk. I thought it might make me feel a little better....like an exchange for the 10 bucks. Then I felt like an idiot. As I was talking to him a fancy truck full of his "people" showed up. I call them his "people" 'cause they all looked like they were a bunch of 'heavy smokers' (if you know what I mean?). The driver's underwear was showing over the top of his pants, which were sagging to his knees. His hat was on backward. He was shirtless and the sunglasses he wore could easily be converted into rearview mirrors.

The Gun Guy told me I could look around. I said no thanks. Too many punks milling around...besides he was still moving his stuff out. How would I know what was hers? So I mumbled something like, "Ah don't worry about it....I guess..." and walked away. Then I felt like an idiot.

He had asked how much she owed me and I said about 10 - 12 bucks and that I knew I wasn't going to see it. As soon as I said 10 bucks, I could tell the conversation was over. I should've turned to him and said, "Listen here buddy! 10 bucks may not seem like a lot to you but it could buy one of my kids a whole new wardrobe at a garage sale, or a package of diapers or a couple of boxes of cereal or a whole lotta junk for my house! So 10 bucks may not buy you a whole lotta what you're smokin' but it would buy me something!"

But I kept my mouth shut. And now I feel like an idiot.

Should've said 20 or 30 bucks.....